Friday, January 30, 2009

Tectonically Challenged

I survived an earthquake today or so the local news tells me. Earthquakes in Seattle.

The alleged earthquake happened at around 5:30 this morning just a few miles to the northwest of Kingston, Washington. That is on the other side of the Sound from me. I guess the epicenter was about 37 miles below the surface of the Earth. That makes it almost in China which is why I am suspicious of this "earthquake." According to my sources at the US Department of Stuff, if you dig straight down for 42 miles, you will hit China. Do you see now why I question the veracity of this news story? I personally subscribe to the theory that every person in China jumped straight up and down at exactly the same moment in time, thus creating a shockwave of mammoth proportions that was felt 42 miles away in Seattle.

Now, the magnitude of this "quake" was measured at 4.6 on the Richter scale, or the Why-Am-I-Shaking scale as I like to call it. 4.6? Really? Don't even bother waking me up for anything less than 8 or 8 and a half. If the ground isn't opening up and swallowing things, I don't want to know about it. In fact, if it isn't Apocalypse-like quaking, I'm busy and can't be bothered.

So, don't let people fool you into thinking that we have earthquakes up here in the Pacific Northwest. We don't. What we have are seismic battles with the Chinese.

Itchy out.


  1. Too bad the quake didn't shake this Warmachine madness out of your head.

  2. Hey Mis - this Warmachine madness makes him happy!