There are days when I feel like I am going it all alone. Seriously, like I am the only one in the universe. I’m not saying that the feeling gets me down, just that it is present from time to time.
I’ve not been divorced that long. Just since last June in fact and it is taking some getting used to. I am so very fortunate in that I remain good friends with my ex-wife but the fact remains that I have been thrust into the strange and disconcerting world of singledom (I’m sure I didn’t create that word but I sure as hell will claim credit if no one else does) and to be honest, some days it is just a big shit sandwich.
This isn’t an ‘oh woe is me’ blog though. Oh no. This blog has higher aspirations. I was thinking about that whole alone thing and how it sucks sometimes and blah, blah, blah and then I realized that I’m not really alone. I have a whole host of people in my life that care about me in one form or fashion. In fact, I realized that by simply logging in and taking the time to comment on my Facebook page, or read this festering turd of a blog, people are showing in their own way that they care.
I, on the other hand, do NOT do a great job of showing people that I care. I think I never really have and there are others who can attest to that fact. It isn’t that I don’t care. I do……deeply. I just suck at showing it and when I say suck I mean SUCK!!!! It is so easy for me to become so entranced with my own little microcosm that I forget to simply acknowledge the major players in that microcosm. I wish I had an excuse to offer for this behavior but I do not. I wish I could say that I was totally resolved to doing a better job of letting people know just how much I care but that would be a lie. I am not totally resolved to that yet…..but I will be. At some point.
Until that time, people should know in their hearts that I do care for them a great deal and for those to which I am closest, you should know that I would go to any length to be there for you. You know who you are.